For the good that I wish, I do not do; but I practice the very evil that I do not wish.
(Romans 7)
I wish I could have glimpsed the inner turmoil in Judas. It must have been intense.
Judas followed Jesus for three years. Three years of miracles, teachings, debates. Three years of fellowship, meals, and practical jokes on Peter. He was there when Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead. He was a hungry partaker when Jesus multiplied fish and loaves to feed more than 5,000 people. He was there when Jesus healed the blind, cast out demons, turned water into wine. His eyes had witnessed everything, and his heart had felt it all.
Yet, he turned on Jesus. For thirty silver coins.
Thirty.
It’s easy to dislike Judas. He betrayed Christ! And with a kiss!
Judas approached Jesus to kiss Him. But Jesus said to him, “Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?”
Luke 22: 47
A kiss is a universal symbol throughout the world of love, of friendship, of commitment. It has stood the test of time, and even seems to spring naturally from the human genome. But to have a traitor use a kiss to mark his victim stirs a deep resentfulness within most of us. A perversion of something wholesome, something meant to convey trust, love, adoration, peace… for what?
Thirty coins.
I can only imagine the thoughts racing through Judas’ mind. The pounding of his heart as he leads the mob through the garden, the catch of breath upon seeing Jesus. A hard swallow, another deep breath, and he enters the stage with a “Greetings Rabbi!”.
The apostle Paul describes such inner turmoil. In his letter to the saints in Rome, he depicts the conflict, stating “that which I am doing, I do not understand: for I am practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate!”
Think back to the first challenge of your journey – the sin you chose to quit. You may have wrestled during the last 30 days with a similar inward battle – the same kind of wrestling that Judas went through with each step toward Jesus, with the simple peck on Jesus’ cheek, with the weight of silver in his pocket.
How do you fight your battles? How do you wrestle through the good “things you want to do” and the urges to “do the very thing I hate”? How will you continue to refrain from the sin you wrote about in Challenge #1?
This challenge is an introspective challenge. It may be the most difficult challenge of the month. You may write your thoughts, but it’s meant to simply resonate within…
Challenge #29: Drop the silver. Look at the sin you had resolved to stop for 30 days in Challenge #1 and decide now to stop... indefinitely. You will undoubtedly wrestle with the temptation again, the urges to do wrong, the convictions to do good, the personal gain, the falsification of a kiss… How will you fight through it? Choose now, perhaps for the rest of your life, to let go of that one particular sin.
We have, and most likely will, betray Christ again. But give God praise for the Sacrificial Lamb, the One who takes our betrayals upon Himself, and offered Himself up as a sacrifice, canceling the debt.
To forgive us. To clean us up. To allow another day of life with Him.
We have one last challenge. One last thing to do.
Find out tomorrow with Challenge #30: THE HOUR HAS COME
Thursday, April 1, 2010
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Dylon
ReplyDeleteI'm going to let go and never want to remember or see it again
it's gone, it's got to be gone. forever.
ReplyDeleteand awww. one more? :(
I will never do it. I gave it up, and I do not wanna go back (:
ReplyDeleteGone for good!!!
ReplyDeleteThe sin I gave up for Lent was anger. I have struggled for several months with anger against a particular person that has deliberately and repeatedly hurt me and people I care about. She has made personal attacks against me, spread false rumors and accusations about me, vilified my family, and just generally been ugly without reason.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I thought I was doing a pretty good job of turning the other cheek and repaying evil with good,I still harbored a deep and abiding anger against this person in my heart. Although I was outwardly civil and friendly and even went out of my way to be kind to her (when I couldn't avoid her), on the inside I was fuming. I may not have SAID ugly things about her to others like she has about me, but I sure THOUGHT them.
And I felt righteous and justified in my anger. After all, I was the one that had been wronged and falsely accused. Why shouldn't I be angry? But at the same time, I knew this "forgiveness" wasn't complete. It was as false as her friendship. This month, God has really worked on my heart regarding this. He has forced me to interact with her more frequently than in the recent past - I haven't been able to avoid her even when I've tried. And as I focused on letting go of an anger that approached hatred, I've felt a burden lifted from my heart. And I praise God for helping me to push this sin from life, and pray He will strengthen me against its return.
hopefully it will never be seen or heard from again!
ReplyDeleteAnonymous said...
ReplyDeleteI hopefully it is gone
Faith
i also gave up anger and it has been hard
ReplyDeletei've given mine up, forever. now to work on something else too, now i just gotta find what that is.
ReplyDelete